Different for a REASON!

God made us different for a reason.  What is for one may not be for the other. His plan for one's life will not be identical to another. So answer this "Why do we hate to see others succeed?"  If we concentrate on our mission and vision and stop worrying about how and when the next person will get ahead we will be better off.  There is no (1) doctor, there is no (1) lawyer, there is no (1) singer/rapper, there is no (1) author etc.  Though we have many in one perfession we have our own uniquness.  We have something tha makes us different.  Yes we may compete and try to be better but it makes us better.  We look at what we can do to become better individuals.  The learning never stops.  Some of us get where we want to be and stop learning. But we want to teach others and when others start to get ahead we start tripping.  The gift of giving.  God gives to you and you give to another.
What brings one success may not bring the other sucess.  We should learn from each other instead of trying to bring one down.  Yes and this is a grand request for many will not change.  Take artist for example that have idols they look up to such as Michael Jackson or Whitney Houston.  These people inspire and give those in the same profession something to look forward to.
Sometimes we as a people support and help right until someone posses a threat.  But why?

Its ok to think you are better than someone in something.  That is your opinion and you should believe in yourself.  If you don't believe in you first then who will. Stay focused on  your goals and learn from others.  Just as others seek to established individuals for help remember those same individuals needed that same help.

So my advice to you for the new year.  There are 4 more days left till 2011.  Change your mindset.  Evaluate some things. Get rid of the jealous spirit and see who you can help and inspire.  Bless someone.

Cause in the end God made us different for  a reason.  What is for YOU is for YOU and no one can take that.  Be obedient so that you can execute his plan for YOUR life.  Its not the same as the other.

Bless
C.

Make the Romance Last!!

How long does it actually take for a guy to change when it comes to romance.  Sometimes when a girl meets a guy or even when a guy meets a girl. The romance can be laid on really thick.  They are doing everything right to sweep you off your feet.  When this happens on either end, this is something that one can get used to.  It is much harder to start something off one way and then change than to eventually incorporate some nice things.  The change can raise eyebrows or bring on unnessary questions.
In church today Bishop spoke about a friend that had been married for 43 years.  He had just lost his wife to cancer.  Bishop asked him what was the secret to the longevity of their marriage.  He replied and said it was the little things.  She thanked him for the small things and showed appreciation to him for the small things as well. Even for taking the trash out.

These type of things are what is needed in relationships. We sometimes have so much going on in our lives that we forget to court one another.  We forget to show appreciation in the smallest ways. Some may say, "He/She should know how I feel". This may be a true statement but sometimes you have to show a person.

It makes you wonder if those people do the nice romantic things just to impress or are they really that type of person.  Not to say that it has to happen everyday or every week but at some point keep the romance going.  Suprise him/her, show appreciation.  These things can make the biggest difference.  I hate to hear women say "my husband or boyfriend used to buy me flowers"  Or a man say "my wife orr girlfriend used to run my bath water.  It is well understood that we sometimes get out of doing these small things that make our mates feel special.  Life happens.

Keep the romance there.  Remind those how much they mean and how much we appreciate them being a part of our lives.  It doesn't take much.

C.

Self-Worth!!

So today has been a busy one for me. Despite that, I spoke with some family and friends on today and I realized something.  There are people very close to me who are going through trying times or whom are just dealing with some things emotionally.  We all experience this at one point in time and handle these situations differently.  Some talk about it, vent, cry or whatever makes them feel better. Others shut down and deal with it alone.  To each their own.

It goes to show that you never know who is going through what.  I have learned never to judge but
for me as a person.  I want and am willing to be there for those individuals. In anyway shape, form or fashion. I may not have all the answers but a simple prayer, or words or encouragement will help.  You never know when you need to be on the receiving end. Life gets us down sometimes people
and when we are down we are down.  We begin to question ourselves and our purpose. I myself have at one point in my life dealt with certain things that got me down.   Thank God for those who lifted me up when I was down and who continued to pray for me when things were
bad.  There were times where I began to question myself?  Humph.  Someone told me to never do that. People see things in us that we don’t see in ourselves and we never know how we are or can
be an asset to someone else’s life.

I say that to say, Never question your self worth!  Change only those things we can. Those we can’t
we deal with it and learn from those experiences.  Tis the season to be jolly and I say to you.
Even when things are not how we want them to be, things will work out.  God is never sleep.  Love hard and enjoy those that matter. Don’t stress over BS.  These are not words of encouragement just for anyone who reads but for myself also.  Make this month a great one.

Love C.

How Many Hats Do You Wear?

The life of a person that wears many hats can begin to get
interesting at times.  Everyone wears more than one hat.  Some of us struggle to find balance between the many things we are involved in or are responsible for.  This is not an easy task.  Some individuals can’t function if they don’t have a busy life that they are used to. 

If things slow down some feel they are not doing enough.  When we get accustomed to this routine it
becomes a part of our lives.  My mom tells me sometimes I’m doing too much.  I love being a mother, I love being a part of my community, I love new adventures, I love setting goals and reaching them.  My life is busy but I love it.  I would not have it any other way.  You have to know how and when to prioritize as well as stay organized. 

In some instances when we get off schedule just a little bit, things fall apart.  There should always be room for “YOU TIME” and relaxation. If you are not at your best then it reflects in your life rather
business wise or personal.  We have to enjoy life while at the same time take care of ourselves.  Some of us can’t wait till the time come when we can relax more and as we say GRIND LESS. When we are set out to accomplish things our work ethic kicks into high gear.  This is not a bad thing as I tell my mom when she makes that statement.  I would rather be doing too much than not enough.  I also keep in mind not to overextend myself in any area so that it will not take away from my time with my children.

I am a Mother, sister, aunt, etc. and I wear many hats.  What about you?

C.

 
 
 
 









 
 
 
 

Keep them folk out of your business!!

My mama used to always say, keep folk out of your business. Well as a grown woman I now know the importance of this statement. I think it is important to have maybe one or two individuals that you can trust with certain information and who you can talk to about anything. Someone who is the not to judge but to offer real advice with not regards to hurting your feelings. Sometimes we need to hear the truth and those so called friends that will lie to you are not your friends. You know the ones that will let you leave the house in a certain outfit knowing you shouldn’t have that on. (EXACTLY).


We sometimes act on impulse and don’t think things through before we talk with others. This can cause things to be said that shouldn’t be as well as actions to be done without thought. It is a difference when people have to wonder about your business than those who know your business.

It is so much more peaceful when you keep folk out your business as much as possible. Some thrive off the gossip. We need to learn to think more before we act and speak which, is a hard thing providing that our emotions get the best of us at times.

They wonder why some couples when they have marriage counseling one of the biggest things they talk about is “keeping family out of your business” They are not exempt because sometimes your dream killers are right under your nose.

Be careful who you share ideas and goals with. Everyone is not there to support you and will not be happy of your success. They will only try and tear you down the best way they can.

Focus on building yourself where you want and need to be. Keep your circle small and get rid of all dead leaves. You will find out who is there with you and for you. Your business is your business PERIOD!

Why Must We Handicap Our Men?

You know it is just funny how we get so comfortable in
certain situations.   In 2010 is it the
“IN” thing to take care of your man and he has to do nothing?  At what point do you say that enough is enough “get your ass up and find a JOB”. We all get in situations where we are so in love that we do whatever
needs to be done when it comes to our relationships.  There is nothing wrong with assisting and
coming TOGETHER as one.  But I find it
really mind boggling when you have a man and he is physically able to provide
and still does not.   If we go wayyyyy
back the man is supposed to support the woman. Am I correct?

I guess I am asking questions because I see so much of this
these days.  Just because we want love we
settle.  Hell No, do your part as a woman
and let you MAN do his.  In these situations
the women make the money and the men take care of the house.  These men have been called “house bitches”.  Go figure

Now we are seeing women making more money than the man.  This is a totally different situation.  My concern is when the men are physically
able to work and contribute and don’t.    If you are totally taking care of him and
everything else why do they have to work? I mean let’s be honest would you
rather make the bread and come home to home cooked meals and pampering?  What if you come home to his ass on the sofa,
the same place you left him that morning?  (PROBLEM).

I am simply saying set the standard and stop handicapping
these men.  Make sure they are taking
care of you to a certain extent.  You
never know when you will not be able to work and if you have a lazy nigga on
your side.  You are screwed.

Love don’t pay the bills.

C.

A Family's Love

Tomorrow marks the 1 year anniversary of my cousin K.C.’s death. We enjoy our loved ones when they are here and even if we do not speak with them daily, losing them is detrimental. I received a card on yesterday in the mail from 309 Antique Car Lane, God’s Town, Heaven 19145. Inside the envelope was a card (from him). I say it was from him because as I was reading it I can hear his voice speaking to me. The card simply stated what he wanted to let us (family) know that he arrived ok. He wanted to say that even though it hurts that he is not here in flesh he is watching over us.

This card was sent by my aunt (his mom). I thought that it was a very good thing to do in remembrance of him. So this act of love is what inspired my blog posting for today. We were only a year apart and I enjoyed being around him. This past year has been hard, but I feel better today that I know he is in a better place. We can’t hold on to everyone we love dearly for we are only here for as long as God needs us to be.

Keltron Charles Singleton you are greatly missed and loved dearly STILL.


Forever in my heart

C.

Its just those little things that count!!!

Sitting home on this beautiful Sunday reflecting back on yesterday.  October 16, 2010 I turned 31 years of age.  I feel no different but and glad that God allowed me to see another year.  As I get older when celebrating my birthday I want to start doing things I haven't before.  In 2009  I had a birthday party but this year just decided to keep it simple and take a trip to just enjoy me.  Well with other things going on that I did not want to miss out on I decided to push the trip back.  Not cancel just push back.  I must say that all the birthday wishes and small tokens of love, stole my heart the most.  We sometimes don't realize how something so small can have a major impact on someone.  Well I can definetly say that this is exactly what happend to me.  Sometimes getting big, expensive gifts that sometimes have no meaning gets old.

This year I received things that meant more to me than any big gift.  Something so small to have such an impact that made my heart heavy is something very powerful.  I will never forget my birthday this year. I am still full with emotion. I spent time with those I love and welcomed a simple Happy Birthday wish from those who care. Here's to another year.

I am going to continue to Live as though I have nothing to hide, nothing to fear, and nothing to lose. 

Sidenote: (Thank you friend for making my heart smile)

Smooches C.

Statistics!!!

Listening to this jam this morning. If only we take heed to the game of this era. For some our past realationships have taught us what to look for. Some of those realtionships make us cautious and different people. This sometimes causes us to be unfair to new people that come in our life. We are scorned. We treat new mates as if they have done something wrong. All because of what the last person did. Is this fair? Everyone should have their own fair chance right. (Easier said than done)

We learn not to let people treat us how we have been treated before. It makes it hard for the next!!! The game is real. Please recognize it. Don't be treated like dirt by anyone. Pay attention to detail. At the same time be open and allow new people in your life to treat you like you deserve to be treated. In this era, finding a mate that is even close to what you want is slim. (my opinion). And last but not least. In any situation (know your role).

Don't settle for less....

A Parent's Love

Those of us that have children can relate when I say that a parent's love is a great love.  I never experienced such a feeling until the birth of my two boys.  When you have little ones that depend on you 100% your life changes.  We look back at our upbrining and decide how we want to raise our children. We want them to experience more than we have and to overall be in better positions than we were.

When they hurt we want to take the pain away.  We would waste no time trading places with them in a heartbeat.  Our children mean more to us than anything else.  There are times when some of us wonder if we can be doing more and we question our parenthood.  Great parenting comes in many different ways.  As parents we ask ourselves, Can we ever do enough?  We never stop being Mothers and Fathers, NEVER.  We won't always make them happy and they won't always understand our positions. This post is simply just to encourage parents to continue doing what you feel is right for your children.  They are the next generation.  I motivate, encourage and pray for my boys everyday.  I want their lives to be as peaceful as I can make it.  What I can't physically change or make better God will handle the rest.

Smooches
C.

Is there a Mr. or Mrs. Right?

Last week on my Facebook page I asked the question. Do you think there is a Mr. or Mrs. Right?  I asked this question because I read an article By Christine Meinecke entitled "There are no right people".  This immediately caught my attention.  The article was yet interesting as she talked about conventional wisdom. Which means (popular notion-general or widespread belief -LIE).  Things that were embedded in our brains growing up or just what we believe should happen.  According to this article this is where we go wrong.  We believe that there is one right person for everyone.



Oldest Black Married Couple
Married for 85 years
She is 101 and he is 104 years old



I am sure everyone can relate that most time when we ask someone why aren't they married, we get "Because I haven't found the right one".  Of course this can mean many things coming from different people.  But we have to ask ourselves what would I consider the right one.  What would that person have to offer me in order to be the right one.  We have to do this keeping in mind that no one is perfect, everyone has flaws.  We just have to determine what we are willing to deal with.  We also as individuals have and idea of the type of person we want to spend the rest of our lives with. And many times people go single and are unhappy because of strict preferences. 



And there is nothing wrong with praying for what we want and trusting God to send us that person.  But I can tell you, Be very careful what you ask for. This article basically states that believing that there is that right person can lead to disappointment.  Christine points out that we start to question our partners rightness, demand that our partners change to suit us and therefore search outside of the relationship looking for that rightness in someone else.  Her book titled "Everybody Marries the Wrong Person" was written to give us a better understanding and to help us realize that there are no right people. 



Now I am not expecting individuals to believe what this article or her book states but she has valid points.  Spend time learning your partners, enjoy them, exercise mature love, accept the things you can't change and allow them to be just who they are.  Let's focus on what really is important and what can save or marriages or relationships.  Using your five senses( ex. the way they smell, they way they make you feel, what you see when you look at them) as well as doing things to strengthen the love in the relationship would take your mind off of those small things that makes that person wrong for you.

When this is done you will find yourself in a much happier situation.  Sad to say I was not able to exercise this in my last marriage. BUT I do in my current situation and experience happiness.



Take some time to visit Dr. Christine Meinecke's website @ www.everybodymarriesthewrongperson.com

and her blog @

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/everybody-marries-the-wrong-person/201003/there-are-no-right-people

Very good read

Smooches



C.

Get out of your comfort Zone!

I had a conversation with my mom earlier this year about where I am in my life.  I stated that I wanted at this point to do things I have never done, or do things different than I normally would.  I must say since I turned 30 I have done just that.  My mindset has changed tremendously and I found that I am making better choices, having different opinions and overall attempting to be a renewed person.

Looking back on life I discovered that a lot of wrong decisons had been made.  Only If I can turn back the hands of time I would.  I realized that I was at a certain point where I was a little too comfortable with who I was. I am now doing things that C.  wouldn't normally do.  Not bad things just in general. Life is entirely too short to live is stress and with unessesary complications.  Of course life happens but when it does you learn to deal with it differently.  The small petty things that bothered me in the past doesnt anymore.  I would rather put my time and energy into things of utmost importance.

This all comes with wanting to make life less stressful and wanting the absolute best for you and yours.  People all the time say what they want.  But find themselves not making the steps to get it.  What motivates you and what makes you crave for success or happiness?  Simple question.  Now don't get me wrong I am not saying I am perfect, I still make mistakes.  I am just more careful now by choosing what battles to fight.  I am getting out of MY COMFORT ZONE, in more ways than one, stepping out on faith and allowing God to guide me.  I want more just that bad.

I can't tell you how to make this transition but only can share my experiences.  We sometimes look back at our lives and wonder where we would have been if we had only taken a different direction.  I do it all the time.  WHAT IF?  I feel it's never to late.  Setbacks are things that are going happen, but how we get back up determines our passion and focus on where we want to be.  Anything can happen in a days time that can change our lives forever.  Rather it be losing a loved one, falling in love, giving birth or career change just to name a few.

I say this to say that we never know what tommorrow may hold.  Nothing is set in stone.  Its not easy out there but you can make things a little more bearable.  Let's focus on the things that we can change and living in the moment.

Get up, get out of your comfort zone and do something different.  Smooches C.

Grow through or Go through?

This morning I received an email of a message that set something in my spirit.  To think I was about to hit the delete button but the words stood out and immediately caught my attention.  "God's Grace in Our Weakness".  After reading this passage I felt a sudden feeling of excitement.  The words were just for me.  It talked about how when we go through things our prayers are not as eloquent as they used to be.  "Eloquent-meaning that they are not expressed using emotion clearly or movingly.    It stated that we are supposed to be growing through life and not just going through.  Still worrying about the same things and people shows no growth and no change.  This is a stage of weakness.

I realized after reading, that through everything I go through I am growing.  Rather its pain, problems or turmoil.  I am supposed to grow.  Needless to say it was so heavy on my heart to share this with those I love and those close to me.  You never know who needs to hear something.  You never know who is going through.

I realized more about me and the person I am.  I am now in a situation where I regret certain things happening in my life but in a sense I am happy they did. See I am getting stronger day by day.  I let go and live and experience all that life has to offer me.  I am so far from perfect.  I just want to be a little better than I was the day before.  That is true progress.  Sometimes I feel I give so much and get so little in return.  This is just who I am.  A Loving and caring person.  I realize that I am not going to understand everything.  It is hard to be obedient because what we feel is strong at times we loose focus.

This passage changed my life in more ways than one.  I put NOTHING past God.  When you need to see clearly or hear something, he allows you to do so.  Even though we may not agree with decisions or paths we should take. Change what you can, love while you can.  Learn to give the rest to him. Remember that somewhere down the line it will all come together, it will all make sense.

I am looking forward to that day!!!

C.

p.s. In our weakness, is when his power works best!

"Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.  Each time He said, My gracious favor is all you need.  My power works best in your weakness!" II Corinthians 12:8-9  

Believe In YOU

So I am in Florida sitting on the balcony at the resort listening to the waveS and reflecting on life.  Having a moment to just really sit and think is an experience.  Everything possible ran through my mind from the last year of my life.  Good times, bad times, and those times that were between the lines.  Self esteem and Self worth are things that we question.  Having the strength to believe in yourself first before anything else is an accomplishment.  There are gonna be times where people try to pull you down and make you think you are nothing. As well as times where you may just feel that you are not all that you can be.  Sometimes thinking that we can do better in life, do better for our children,  be better mothers, fathers, friends, sons, daughters.

It is easy to get distracted from obtaining your goals in life.  Fear of FAILURE a big one.  But if we don't believe in ourselves then who will.  We wait on motivation from others which is good, but let's try to build ourselves up. Anything is possible and long as you put your mind to it.

Sitting here I realizeD that I believe in me..... NO MATTER WHAT.  There are people that will benefit from my togetherness and balance in life.  Preparation is key, no limits.

With that being said let's take the life that we have and make something of it.  As each day passes it is considered gone.  Let's not waste time, let's become better individuals.  By any means necessary.  If you do nothing else BELIEVE IN YOU!!!

C.

Peace of Mind (Do you have it?)

I was sitting on my sofa thinking about something.  How many people actually want to have peace of mind and how many ACTUALLY have it.  I have learned that people say they want things and when it actually happens or they actually get it they don't know what to do with it. (Shame). In relationships we often ask for this one particular thing.  Many wonder what it would be like to have a relationship where there is no fussing, fighting, bickering and nagging all the time.  Well sometimes all you can do is wonder.  From my experience in past relationships fussing, fighting, bickering and nagging was habitual.  I often wondered what caused it to be that way. In all actuality it could have been a number of things. 

For example: You have a cheating husband/wife or man/woman and you then have insecurities. This causes you to question him or her all the time, make assumptions and have a hard time trusting.  Then the fighting begins. Of course we are all human and make mistakes but choose your battles wisely.  One thing I have learned is that you can not stop a person from doing something.  If it comes up, handle it at that time. 

Who wants to be in a relationship where you fight more than you love on each other.  When you are in a GOOD SPACE with someone then all the bs doesnt matter.  You find yourself having a very good friend.  Learning from past relationships and becoming better in those to come is essential to the growth process.  I suggest we love, laugh and enjoy each other.  No situation is perfect so some things you have to compromise.  Do we want to? No?  Do I expect there to be arguements YES, but about real things.  Besides sometimes having a little spat is also good for the relationship because you get to make up :-)

For all those who are in situations and you have found that peace of mind with someone. Hold on to it.  There is nothing like it.  Having and understanding with someone and focusing on what really matters brings you closer.  I have had my days of this exact same drama and I love my peace of mind.

LIVE!!!!!! Don't let the negative, petty stuff tear your character down.

Extra stress and drama is not a good look.

C.

U not Saying Anything!

So, today I was faced with several conversations and situations that all lead to one word. COMMUNICATION. Yes each situation was different and unique but at some point someone failed to communicate. Now as a human being no one is expected to be perfect and we all slip sometimes. Its expected. But we make mistakes and we learn. We live and learn and then we learn daily how to live.

Im not trying at all to teach or speak negative about anyone for being who they are. Only trying to express my thoughts on this specific subject. There are so many ways to communicate with each other yet we fail to do so at times. Many times not just because we can't but because we don't want to. Trust me I know. But, sometimes failing to communicate can cause added problems to our lives that may be unnecessary. Problems in our relationships,work, frienships etc.

Its simply the process of tranferring information from one entity to another. (Sounds just that simple huh). Just know that it is respected when we communicate effectively. I can't speak for anyone else or make decisions for anyone else, I can only do me...........

C.

Something to make you feel good

Every once in a while we need to do something for ourselves. We get so caught up in everyday life that we forget to take care of us. Rather it be taking a trip, seeing someone special or buying yourself something nice sometimes its worth it.

Life brings about many challenges and some of us take care of others more than we take care of ourselves. This year I experienced a great ordeal. Making certain decisions hurt but helped me in the process. I now do what I feel is best for my children. If I am happy they are and this is my only concern. Every other little perk is an addition to my life.

At some point take some time to take care of you. The feeling is great and you get the feeling of rejuvenation. Others may not appreciate us like we do and it is very easy to be brought down by words.

As for myself I now make it a point to do something that makes me feel good and that will help build me to a better person.

Lets not forget that those that depend on us need us most.

Take care of you=
C