Is there a Mr. or Mrs. Right?

Last week on my Facebook page I asked the question. Do you think there is a Mr. or Mrs. Right?  I asked this question because I read an article By Christine Meinecke entitled "There are no right people".  This immediately caught my attention.  The article was yet interesting as she talked about conventional wisdom. Which means (popular notion-general or widespread belief -LIE).  Things that were embedded in our brains growing up or just what we believe should happen.  According to this article this is where we go wrong.  We believe that there is one right person for everyone.



Oldest Black Married Couple
Married for 85 years
She is 101 and he is 104 years old



I am sure everyone can relate that most time when we ask someone why aren't they married, we get "Because I haven't found the right one".  Of course this can mean many things coming from different people.  But we have to ask ourselves what would I consider the right one.  What would that person have to offer me in order to be the right one.  We have to do this keeping in mind that no one is perfect, everyone has flaws.  We just have to determine what we are willing to deal with.  We also as individuals have and idea of the type of person we want to spend the rest of our lives with. And many times people go single and are unhappy because of strict preferences. 



And there is nothing wrong with praying for what we want and trusting God to send us that person.  But I can tell you, Be very careful what you ask for. This article basically states that believing that there is that right person can lead to disappointment.  Christine points out that we start to question our partners rightness, demand that our partners change to suit us and therefore search outside of the relationship looking for that rightness in someone else.  Her book titled "Everybody Marries the Wrong Person" was written to give us a better understanding and to help us realize that there are no right people. 



Now I am not expecting individuals to believe what this article or her book states but she has valid points.  Spend time learning your partners, enjoy them, exercise mature love, accept the things you can't change and allow them to be just who they are.  Let's focus on what really is important and what can save or marriages or relationships.  Using your five senses( ex. the way they smell, they way they make you feel, what you see when you look at them) as well as doing things to strengthen the love in the relationship would take your mind off of those small things that makes that person wrong for you.

When this is done you will find yourself in a much happier situation.  Sad to say I was not able to exercise this in my last marriage. BUT I do in my current situation and experience happiness.



Take some time to visit Dr. Christine Meinecke's website @ www.everybodymarriesthewrongperson.com

and her blog @

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/everybody-marries-the-wrong-person/201003/there-are-no-right-people

Very good read

Smooches



C.