Its just those little things that count!!!

Sitting home on this beautiful Sunday reflecting back on yesterday.  October 16, 2010 I turned 31 years of age.  I feel no different but and glad that God allowed me to see another year.  As I get older when celebrating my birthday I want to start doing things I haven't before.  In 2009  I had a birthday party but this year just decided to keep it simple and take a trip to just enjoy me.  Well with other things going on that I did not want to miss out on I decided to push the trip back.  Not cancel just push back.  I must say that all the birthday wishes and small tokens of love, stole my heart the most.  We sometimes don't realize how something so small can have a major impact on someone.  Well I can definetly say that this is exactly what happend to me.  Sometimes getting big, expensive gifts that sometimes have no meaning gets old.

This year I received things that meant more to me than any big gift.  Something so small to have such an impact that made my heart heavy is something very powerful.  I will never forget my birthday this year. I am still full with emotion. I spent time with those I love and welcomed a simple Happy Birthday wish from those who care. Here's to another year.

I am going to continue to Live as though I have nothing to hide, nothing to fear, and nothing to lose. 

Sidenote: (Thank you friend for making my heart smile)

Smooches C.

Statistics!!!

Listening to this jam this morning. If only we take heed to the game of this era. For some our past realationships have taught us what to look for. Some of those realtionships make us cautious and different people. This sometimes causes us to be unfair to new people that come in our life. We are scorned. We treat new mates as if they have done something wrong. All because of what the last person did. Is this fair? Everyone should have their own fair chance right. (Easier said than done)

We learn not to let people treat us how we have been treated before. It makes it hard for the next!!! The game is real. Please recognize it. Don't be treated like dirt by anyone. Pay attention to detail. At the same time be open and allow new people in your life to treat you like you deserve to be treated. In this era, finding a mate that is even close to what you want is slim. (my opinion). And last but not least. In any situation (know your role).

Don't settle for less....

A Parent's Love

Those of us that have children can relate when I say that a parent's love is a great love.  I never experienced such a feeling until the birth of my two boys.  When you have little ones that depend on you 100% your life changes.  We look back at our upbrining and decide how we want to raise our children. We want them to experience more than we have and to overall be in better positions than we were.

When they hurt we want to take the pain away.  We would waste no time trading places with them in a heartbeat.  Our children mean more to us than anything else.  There are times when some of us wonder if we can be doing more and we question our parenthood.  Great parenting comes in many different ways.  As parents we ask ourselves, Can we ever do enough?  We never stop being Mothers and Fathers, NEVER.  We won't always make them happy and they won't always understand our positions. This post is simply just to encourage parents to continue doing what you feel is right for your children.  They are the next generation.  I motivate, encourage and pray for my boys everyday.  I want their lives to be as peaceful as I can make it.  What I can't physically change or make better God will handle the rest.

Smooches
C.

Is there a Mr. or Mrs. Right?

Last week on my Facebook page I asked the question. Do you think there is a Mr. or Mrs. Right?  I asked this question because I read an article By Christine Meinecke entitled "There are no right people".  This immediately caught my attention.  The article was yet interesting as she talked about conventional wisdom. Which means (popular notion-general or widespread belief -LIE).  Things that were embedded in our brains growing up or just what we believe should happen.  According to this article this is where we go wrong.  We believe that there is one right person for everyone.



Oldest Black Married Couple
Married for 85 years
She is 101 and he is 104 years old



I am sure everyone can relate that most time when we ask someone why aren't they married, we get "Because I haven't found the right one".  Of course this can mean many things coming from different people.  But we have to ask ourselves what would I consider the right one.  What would that person have to offer me in order to be the right one.  We have to do this keeping in mind that no one is perfect, everyone has flaws.  We just have to determine what we are willing to deal with.  We also as individuals have and idea of the type of person we want to spend the rest of our lives with. And many times people go single and are unhappy because of strict preferences. 



And there is nothing wrong with praying for what we want and trusting God to send us that person.  But I can tell you, Be very careful what you ask for. This article basically states that believing that there is that right person can lead to disappointment.  Christine points out that we start to question our partners rightness, demand that our partners change to suit us and therefore search outside of the relationship looking for that rightness in someone else.  Her book titled "Everybody Marries the Wrong Person" was written to give us a better understanding and to help us realize that there are no right people. 



Now I am not expecting individuals to believe what this article or her book states but she has valid points.  Spend time learning your partners, enjoy them, exercise mature love, accept the things you can't change and allow them to be just who they are.  Let's focus on what really is important and what can save or marriages or relationships.  Using your five senses( ex. the way they smell, they way they make you feel, what you see when you look at them) as well as doing things to strengthen the love in the relationship would take your mind off of those small things that makes that person wrong for you.

When this is done you will find yourself in a much happier situation.  Sad to say I was not able to exercise this in my last marriage. BUT I do in my current situation and experience happiness.



Take some time to visit Dr. Christine Meinecke's website @ www.everybodymarriesthewrongperson.com

and her blog @

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/everybody-marries-the-wrong-person/201003/there-are-no-right-people

Very good read

Smooches



C.

Get out of your comfort Zone!

I had a conversation with my mom earlier this year about where I am in my life.  I stated that I wanted at this point to do things I have never done, or do things different than I normally would.  I must say since I turned 30 I have done just that.  My mindset has changed tremendously and I found that I am making better choices, having different opinions and overall attempting to be a renewed person.

Looking back on life I discovered that a lot of wrong decisons had been made.  Only If I can turn back the hands of time I would.  I realized that I was at a certain point where I was a little too comfortable with who I was. I am now doing things that C.  wouldn't normally do.  Not bad things just in general. Life is entirely too short to live is stress and with unessesary complications.  Of course life happens but when it does you learn to deal with it differently.  The small petty things that bothered me in the past doesnt anymore.  I would rather put my time and energy into things of utmost importance.

This all comes with wanting to make life less stressful and wanting the absolute best for you and yours.  People all the time say what they want.  But find themselves not making the steps to get it.  What motivates you and what makes you crave for success or happiness?  Simple question.  Now don't get me wrong I am not saying I am perfect, I still make mistakes.  I am just more careful now by choosing what battles to fight.  I am getting out of MY COMFORT ZONE, in more ways than one, stepping out on faith and allowing God to guide me.  I want more just that bad.

I can't tell you how to make this transition but only can share my experiences.  We sometimes look back at our lives and wonder where we would have been if we had only taken a different direction.  I do it all the time.  WHAT IF?  I feel it's never to late.  Setbacks are things that are going happen, but how we get back up determines our passion and focus on where we want to be.  Anything can happen in a days time that can change our lives forever.  Rather it be losing a loved one, falling in love, giving birth or career change just to name a few.

I say this to say that we never know what tommorrow may hold.  Nothing is set in stone.  Its not easy out there but you can make things a little more bearable.  Let's focus on the things that we can change and living in the moment.

Get up, get out of your comfort zone and do something different.  Smooches C.

Grow through or Go through?

This morning I received an email of a message that set something in my spirit.  To think I was about to hit the delete button but the words stood out and immediately caught my attention.  "God's Grace in Our Weakness".  After reading this passage I felt a sudden feeling of excitement.  The words were just for me.  It talked about how when we go through things our prayers are not as eloquent as they used to be.  "Eloquent-meaning that they are not expressed using emotion clearly or movingly.    It stated that we are supposed to be growing through life and not just going through.  Still worrying about the same things and people shows no growth and no change.  This is a stage of weakness.

I realized after reading, that through everything I go through I am growing.  Rather its pain, problems or turmoil.  I am supposed to grow.  Needless to say it was so heavy on my heart to share this with those I love and those close to me.  You never know who needs to hear something.  You never know who is going through.

I realized more about me and the person I am.  I am now in a situation where I regret certain things happening in my life but in a sense I am happy they did. See I am getting stronger day by day.  I let go and live and experience all that life has to offer me.  I am so far from perfect.  I just want to be a little better than I was the day before.  That is true progress.  Sometimes I feel I give so much and get so little in return.  This is just who I am.  A Loving and caring person.  I realize that I am not going to understand everything.  It is hard to be obedient because what we feel is strong at times we loose focus.

This passage changed my life in more ways than one.  I put NOTHING past God.  When you need to see clearly or hear something, he allows you to do so.  Even though we may not agree with decisions or paths we should take. Change what you can, love while you can.  Learn to give the rest to him. Remember that somewhere down the line it will all come together, it will all make sense.

I am looking forward to that day!!!

C.

p.s. In our weakness, is when his power works best!

"Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.  Each time He said, My gracious favor is all you need.  My power works best in your weakness!" II Corinthians 12:8-9  

Believe In YOU

So I am in Florida sitting on the balcony at the resort listening to the waveS and reflecting on life.  Having a moment to just really sit and think is an experience.  Everything possible ran through my mind from the last year of my life.  Good times, bad times, and those times that were between the lines.  Self esteem and Self worth are things that we question.  Having the strength to believe in yourself first before anything else is an accomplishment.  There are gonna be times where people try to pull you down and make you think you are nothing. As well as times where you may just feel that you are not all that you can be.  Sometimes thinking that we can do better in life, do better for our children,  be better mothers, fathers, friends, sons, daughters.

It is easy to get distracted from obtaining your goals in life.  Fear of FAILURE a big one.  But if we don't believe in ourselves then who will.  We wait on motivation from others which is good, but let's try to build ourselves up. Anything is possible and long as you put your mind to it.

Sitting here I realizeD that I believe in me..... NO MATTER WHAT.  There are people that will benefit from my togetherness and balance in life.  Preparation is key, no limits.

With that being said let's take the life that we have and make something of it.  As each day passes it is considered gone.  Let's not waste time, let's become better individuals.  By any means necessary.  If you do nothing else BELIEVE IN YOU!!!

C.